#always remembering my ABCs (always be crying)

[vaguely-concerned]

at least with american masc rook, the delivery of 'I'm here. For you' to a romanced lucanis when he says he thought he lost them after killing ghilan'nain and the 'So I'll do this. For you' to varric's duster in the infirmary goodbye scene is so similar. it makes my brain go bonkers

[kunaigirl]

Happy Disability Pride and awareness month! Let's talk about Epilepsy!

Hi there! I got tired of seeing my condition (that impacts my literal every day life) being left out or forgotten about during discussions about disabilities, so I made my own post about it! Let's go!

First Off! What the heck is epilepsy? Epilepsy is the fourth most common neurological disorder in the world, and it's a chronic medical condition. Epilepsy is a brain disorder that causes recurring, frequent, triggered, and unprovoked seizures to occur.

The official Epilepsy Foundation describes seizures as follows: "Seizures are sudden surges of abnormal and excessive electrical activity in your brain, and can affect how you appear or act. Where and how the seizure presents itself can have profound effects...Seizures involve sudden, temporary, bursts of electrical activity in the brain that change or disrupt the way messages are sent between brain cells. These electrical bursts can cause involuntary changes in body movement or function, sensation, behavior or awareness." (Source link)

Sounds like a lot of fun right? This is our life. Even with medication, we can be VERY limited to what can be safe for us. Seizure medications are NOT a cure, they only exist (at least as of now) as a tool to help have your seizures less often, or be triggered less intensely. Even on medication, seizures can still happen.

If you have epilepsy as a child like I did, it impacts your entire growing and developing experience. I spent MANY times as a child in and out of hospitals, neurologist and specialist offices, an getting so many EEG tests done. The pain of scrubbing the glue out of your hair for DAYS is horrible.

At a young age my seizures were so frequent and serious, it impacted my brain's ability to retain information. I had to re-learn the names of things at age 8 and 9. I had to re-learn HOW TO READ at age 10. I had to be home schooled because the public school system of my state at the time refused to work with me. I have VERY distinct and vivid memories of crying over my little baby ABC's book that I needed as a 4th and 5th grader. I knew I should've known this by this age. I knew that at one point I already did, and it was TAKEN FROM ME.

As an adult, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE A CAR. And I can NEVER go to see a movie in theaters or go to see concerts or live music. There are entire TV shows I don't get to see. I can't go to clubs, arcades, dances, or raves. I miss out on A LOT of fun things. I always do, and I'm WELL AWARE of the fun I'm missing out on. The social, casual, and fun life experiences I'll never get to have. That WE'LL never get to have. And oh yeah! Seizures can KILL SOME OF US. Yep.

And the list goes on, and every person with epilepsy experiences it differently. There are multiple different types of seizures you can have, they're NOT always convulsing on the floor. For example, I have complex-partial-myoclonic-seizures. Meaning my muscles DO twitch when I have seizures, but I'm not always completely unconscious and sometimes I'm even able to stay sitting up. However, I'm still very "off" and can't focus or remember much for a good while after the fact. I can't talk or communicate during one, even with my slight bit of consciousness.

My experiences are not universal, I just wanted to talk about it and bring it up. It helps to talk about it even a little bit. Here's more about different kinds of seizures. Here's more about common seizure triggers. Here's more about CORRECT seizure first aid. And here's more general information/resources.

Please stop leaving us out of disability awareness. Please stop ignoring us or saying we're "not really disabled" or anything else like that. Please. Why does it always feel like the only people who care about epilepsy, are people WITH epilepsy? We're so tired of being ignored by others who don't have our condition.

If you're an epileptic person reading this, I see you. I love you. You're so strong, we all are. I believe in you, I believe in us. We're so much stronger than we get credit for, and it's going to be ok. Your anger and frustration are valid. Your emotions and struggles are real. You're valid, and I see you. Hang in there, we got this.

[lady-of-the-silver-lakeatron]

Bridgerton Season 3 Episode 1 Initial Reactions

I didn't get to post these reactions so I'm posting them late as I needed time to edit all my 3am typos (cry) from Thursday.

Bless Francesca for being the funniest lowkey Bridgerton with that piano playing scene.

I swear I paused the Colin glow up reveal scene to analyze everyone's reaction. My top choices are Anthony and Kate and Bennedict.

ABC reunion + Gregory being adorable. I love when they show the sibling interactions.

Backs up, did I just see ASL from a debutant! That is so cool!

Queen Charlotte is having none of these people lmfao

Not Eloise getting dragged by Colin by her fashion choices (peak brother-sister vibes)

Stop- Francesca: “y'all are chaotic yappers the lord cannot present me a harder challenge”

Featherington's! I almost forgot both of Pen's sisters were married here! I keep remembering the book (romancing Mr. Bridgerton) and that the show has arranged things differently.

Prudence's man (I cannot/ do not remember his name) is giving such strong Kenergy.

Would it be the Featherington household without financial drama?

Eloise - Pen meet up, omg the heart break in their eyes!!

Cressida, when I get you!! It has been 0.5 seconds since this girl got to this garden party and she's already bullying Pen. Girl breathe.

Cressida-Eloise is intriguing as a dynamic I’m afraid. Also, Pen’s sad little face (cry)

I'm a bit confused with Francesca's interest in the marriage mart right now as she seems to prefer being around small groups of people and does not have much interest in being around guys. It feels as if this is a chore she must fulfil.

Kate -Violet solidarity is so cute to see after the angst of last season

Lady Danbury in the white ensemble with the top hat is looking magnificent I want her to poke someone with her cane!!

I'm liking the make up on Kate much more this season??? She seems a lot more glowy and rosy, maybe it's the lighting or something but her make up looks different.

I'm so sorry but Colin getting all this attention after having a literal hot girl summer is vv funny. Like he's in his early 20s lmao, but he is not giving confidence he is giving slightly awkward line reading with no chemistry. In the books him being more rakish was believable because it was set 10 years later.

Colin meeting and talking to Pen, side eye my boy. I'm loving the costuming choices to visibly show they are both uncomfortable/ do not fit their clothes well and it’s so starkly done. Poor Pen in this yellow dress makes her look a lot more juvenile (which isn't bad but it is unflattering). And Colin with what I am assuming are Anthony hand me downs since that jacket looks frumpy. The parallels!

Omg "Go home and get to work" Mrs.Featherington is so unserious

One sentence horror story "I take comfort in knowing you will always be there to take care of me". Get out miss Penelope runnn

Colin had one slutty slutty summer and the fact they keep trying to frame it as mostly intellectual is sending me.

Eloise reading Jane Austen! Is this character development?

Every scene so far where Pen and Eloise see each other gives the vibe of two exes meeting after the most devastating break up, I appreciate this framing so much because losing your childhood girl best friend is one of the most painful types of breakups.

ABC hang out?? Bennedict responsibility arc?

"She is colder now I am afraid" is a wild way to say someone is dead.

NEWTON!! BABY!! KANTHONY! IN! BED! BEING ROMANTIC!!

Damn! We're getting steamy af scenes already in the first episode! Anthony needing to go down on his wife to start off the day is certainly something I can get behind.

OOh this outfit reveal! Yessssss bb Pen eat them up! Penelope having a *debut* moment.

Aww the Featherinton spouses are sweet.

I see you Colin with that side eye

Omg Penelope being a bombshell and being socially awkward is so cute. You’ll figure it out soon bb don’t give up, they’re just jelous!

Ooh these girls are not liking Eloise they're sus

I'm a little uninterested in the queen charlotte diamond drama atm

Francesca: Live Laugh Love the piano forte

These guys are being so rude to Fran like let the poor girl speak! You’re traumatizing her.

Kanthony dancing and Kate's dress to reference the Bridgerton blue?? Oh the costume department has served.

Aww walflower solidarity with Francesca and Penelope. They're both the more reserved of their family, it's sweet moment between the two and the encouragement!

I know we won't love lord Debling but he's looking so sweetly at Pen and being so welcoming compared to everyone else.

CRESSIDA they can never make me like you, you little brat.

Yes, Pen eat him up give it to him tell him!!! "You miss me but you would never court me". GET HIS ASSS!!

 I fear our girl will be writing some scathing lady Whistledown.

This man threatening the Featheringtons is a gremlin, and I am getting bad vibes.

This conversation about the pitting of women against each other is valid social commentary but I cannot focus on it as it appears Cressida has murdered a flock of flamingoes to make her outfit.

Self-awareness, Cressida, does not free you from your crimes!

Kanthony is serving this episode. I appreciate this blissfully married life on them! Also Kate’s outfits are so intricate and beautiful. She has come so far.

Francesca so far feels like an external character, and it was similar in the novels until we got to her book. I really hope we get more context for her outlook soon.

Colin, what are YOU doing here. The way that Luke N is serving this season, whew. I really can buy his clueless innocence at his friendship with Pen, but finally the plot is plotting!

I'm very confused by this Baron Kent plot line and its introduction in the first episode.

OOH the drama for Colin's Whistledown dress down.

She really said he ain't shit, it's a facade, a ruse, he's a sad little attention whore

Colin: FUCK lady whistle down all my homies hate lady whistle down.

I'll keep it short. It was simply exhilarating. I love being back it's like slipping into a comfy worn hoodie. It's good to be back!

[onedayimgonnasnap]

Lucio Slander

I’m choosing to be a menace to society starting with this ugly ass mother fucker.

Lucio desperately needs some mother fucking eye drops.

His hair is so gelled it cracks after he takes a shower and they’re still hair gel in it.

Mother fucker would go up to any Hispanic and say “My garden needs to be watered.”

Bro Fr deadass a colonizer

He makes Rika and J*sper look like saints. How tf is that even possible-

Bro dead ass is hated on by the whole damn city.

Bro is throwing tantrums at 40.

How tf does he cheat on Nadia- NADIA IS TO GOOD FOR HIM- WTF

Bro dead ass built like Ken from Toy Story 3

Bros hair line is dead ass reciting. It’s leaving to a whole ass another country.

bros the type of mf to say every single slur A-Z to remember his ABCs because he’s to dumb to memorize them.

Bro dead ass looks like a depressed uncle

He’s the type of mf to say he’s not white but say he’s actually 0.001% black so he can say the N- Word

Bros nose is built like a right triangle.

He’s allergic to anything spicy. He adds salt and pepper and says it’s the height of luxury.

How tf do you screw up so badly for your own momma to hate you 💀✋

I bet his mama really regrets not having an abortion

Bro dead ass in Muriel’s route cried “MAMA” and no one was there to help him 😭

Bro when you open up the app and press everyone they all have a cute smile and then there’s HIM- AND ITS SUCH AN UGLY FACE.

Bros hygiene is so down bad that a plague was coming back when he was coming back. Do you know how bad that fucking looks? 😒

Plague or no plague, the deepest HES ever been in a hole is the one that he came out of his mamas.

Everytime we see him as a goat it’s a whole ass jumpscare.

Bros Fr apology video is gonna be a Travis Scott one.

I bet he doesn’t even wash his ass in the shower.

His nails are so fucking dirty they’re all black and it’s not even from the plague.

Bro has an ugly crying face. How tf do people get manipulated by him 💀✋ like dead ass I could tell him the trash Can has 5 dollars in it and he’d jump in without worrying about anything.

Bros fake robo arm has all the damn diseases, AIDS, cancer, bitchlesscosus, diabetes, rabies.

Actually if he bit you in his goat form you would proceed to her rabies.

I like how everytime he appears everyone is so sick and tired of his always seeking validation ass.

He has the posture of someone who didn’t get enough love and validation from their father.

I bet he has lice, like both head lice and pubic lice. And some of the head lice are dead because of all that hair gel he be using. So they’re stuck there in the middle forever.

The remaining live lice sing gospel songs on his head and praying that someday they will escape his greasy head ass because even they can’t breathe.

He would make out with a guy and still refuse to wash his ass because he thinks it’s gay.

Bro is not on gang with his rizz gang.

Bros the type of mf to be so happy when someone gives him a Pat on the back. But when that person does give him a pat on the back their hand now has a fowl Oder that only Jesus can stop.

Mf has only a face a mother Can love. Actually I lied, not even his own mother could love what ever that is. 😟

I like how no matter the fan art and etc he’s still FUCKING UGLY- NOONE CAN DO HIM JUSTICE

Bro has enough ear wax to make him a candle for days.

Bros eye brows are some how splitting I bet his eyebrow lice also be singing Christmas carols

These bitches look the same 💀✋

[superghfan]

"I want to talk about Tyler Christopher, the person. If you are a fan of his or even if you knew him personally, go on a walk with me." "I first met Tyler when I was about sixteen and as some of you may know, Nikolas and Robin had a friendship, a very sweet friendship, but so did Kimberly and Tyler. We were a part of this acting class where I met a lot of my really good friends and we were also part of a friend group. Once, when I was going through a breakup, It was a really hard time in my life. I was extremely lonely and he apologized to me for not being there for me, and he said I hope you'll forgive me. It made me feel like I wasn't crazy, that I was loved, and that Tyler really was my friend. I mean, what 20-something-year-old TV star at the height of his career says the words, 'I hope you'll forgive me?' But that was the kind of friendship we had, Tyler was like a big brother to me and things were never romantic between us, which was great. It made our friendship even that much sweeter and simpler." "Tyler always supported me when I wanted to make a transition into directing. He could see it as clearly as I could. He would always say yeah, go go go, keep going. I know you're going to do it. He even went so far as to put me up in his house in Austin, Texas, while we were shooting a TV show. I was shadowing on an ABC family show, and he totally took care of me while I was there. He would even make coffee in the morning before he go to work and leave me a little note like see you at work. He was just thoughtful." "I remember Finola [Anna, GH] came up to me one day after working with him and she was like, 'I didn't know he was so funny.' She was like 'Tyler is so clever; he just says this stuff under his breath and so if you're not listening very carefully, you'll miss it.' I was like 'I know, I know, no one knows he is freaking stand-up comedian in the body of a prince'. Tyler was like so funny. He would tell these stories and my stomach would hurt so bad. I would cry like those cartoons where the tears shoot out of the side of your eyes." "So, I guess my point to all of this is to tell you that even though Tyler had his own struggles. he found a way to be all these things for me as a friend. He found a way to be empathetic, generous and had a way of just making me laugh like no one else could. We share a love of hip hop, we shared a love of dogs, we shared of love of finding the emotional truths in our craft. Even though I am super sad today, I am so grateful I got to know someone like that and grateful that I got to have a good friend for over 30 years. Rest in peace man," - Kimberly McCullough

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hi there. I am a big fan of your work, and I constantly appreciate you on Tumblr. But due to the "rant" I will be beginning soon, I choose to send an anonymous ask.

I am tired. I feel exhausted and completely let down. I had major career plans and trials planned for this year, beginning with an exam Ive been wanting to give since 3 years. I thought I did my best but unfortunately I didn't make it. And I have a history of not being able to crack similar exams in the past. But this recent one, I thought I could. I wanted to, I was desperate for it, because it was/is my one step-forward towards my future (career wise & personally). I feel so disappointed in myself that I am not capable of making any decisions. My parents have always felt let down by me, due to the multiple failed attempts. They have not yet asked how I am doing or how am I coping (I mean, this is a common Brown-Desi mentality). But they knew how much I was rooting for myself in this particular exam. But I couldnt make it. I feel so inadequate.

Watching my peers achieve their goals, and also people living the life I've wanted to since my mid 20s, I began to think this isn't for me. Maybe I'm just meant to be where I am, and my ambitious goals are just a dream. My mom did mention once, my dreams aren't achievable because I am not capable for it. But I still kept trying, not to spite her... because I wanted to try.

But, now I'm just beat. Idk what to do. I can't make a decision and neither do I have any solution. I always am a practical,logical decision maker. But I'm just... It.. my family isn't asking me anymore. Maybe they have finally realized nothing can be done, or they are sweeping it under the rug. It isn't good or bad thing. I called my Best friend crying/wheezing on the phone because I'm scared what to do. She said I am completely burned out. Working, paying bills for the family, trying my best to study etc etc.

When I read "Shades of Gray", I totally related to Alexander. The way he felt he wasn't enough, made himself validated with work.. it hit me. I like my job, I work with amazing people, and I learn so much everyday. But I also want to succeed. I want to be happy with my choices. All I've noticed so far is, my choices have been hurting me. And idk where is the source. Sometimes I feel like shaking myself so hard, so I can find the loose screw and tighten it.

I am floating on a gray cloud, hoping the storm won't swallow me.

(sorry for the depresso theme in this ask, but I genuinely loved Shades of Gray) 🩶🩶🩶

Hello, darling.

Thank you for sharing all of this with me.

I get you. I really do.

If I may give you a word of advice, (as someone who was in a similar position), I've learned that it's often not our dream or goal that is not wrong, but rather our approach to it.

If you want to achieve ABC and you keep failing, it does not mean ABC is not meant for you and that it is unachievable. Sometimes, it simply means that the strategy that you used to achieve ABC is just not the right way to do it. Maybe it worked for other people, but that doesn't mean it will work for you.

Find what works for you and what will get you where you want to be. There is more than one way to achieve a dream. Remember that. Go back to square one and think about what needs to do be to get to where you want to be.

You can also consider slightly altering your goal to meet the realities of life. For example, let's say I want to publish a book. If i feel like oh no this is not going to happen because my draft was rejected by so many companies, I will consider slightly different goals until I find myself back there. I could write for competitions and online magazines and whatever else i like instead of keeping at it with the publishers. As long as i remember that it is writing that brings me joy and I find a way to keep finding that joy, you will find the strength you need to working towards your goal.

Your feelings are valid and I'm sorry that the exam didn't work out. but please be proud of all the hard work you put into it. I know I am.

if your choices are hurting you, choose differently. we often don't get to choose whether other people hurt us, we do get to choose if we hurt ourselves or not. i hope you will find the strength and support you need to find your way through this. i hope you find the courage to question your strategies and reevaluate your plans.

you got this x

ps - we need a vigilante who will start beating up desi parents who are assholes. i will get on this asap.

[literaticat]

I have some idea that sometimes publishers have swanky parties and invite their staff, best sellers and big authors. Is this real? Or did I see this in a movie lol

Oh, it's real. Though I'd say this was more of a thing back in the OLD days, pre-Pandemic, and a couple economic crises ago. :-/

The ones I have been to (and I have been to many) are usually for a reason, they aren't just random parties. Usually it's to promote new books to a specific audience, and they are often held during a conference or something like that so that a bulk of the people they are trying to reach will be there.

So like, for example, they used to do a lot of "Pre-Publication Tours" and take booksellers out to very fancy dinners with an author (and the publicist, and sometimes the editor). Or they might do something like a breakfast or dinner at ALA (for example) where they have several authors and a bunch of librarians, and each author gets to introduce themselves and talk about the book and spend some time at each table, and all the librarians get copies and they all have a chance to chit-chat over a nice meal.

When BookExpo/BEA used to be a thing (and actually even more so before that, when it was called the ABA), publishers would throw really grand parties and invite a number of famous authors with new projects coming, and invite a bunch of booksellers, and the party would be on a rooftop or some gorgeous venue. I went to one at ABC carpet where they took over a floor of the store and there were living flower walls. I went to one at Dylan's Candy Bar one year and there was an open bar where they had candy apple martinis and I got sick off em. I went to one IN the Library of Congress -- like the FANCY part -- and one in the main library in downtown LA at night, that was pretty spectacular.

I went to one on a rooftop in LA I believe and they gave us all t-shirts and we could go around to different tables and get autographs on the shirt from the authors, and Judy Blume was one of the authors, and I had a literal meltdown and cried on her and Libba Bray had to hold me up. (Judy Blume was very nice about it - she gave me a Kleenex and said, "don't worry, women your age always cry when they meet me" -- which was both reassuring and made me feel v basic lol).

I went to one on this like -- observation-area in a swank hotel in downtown NYC, and I was chit-chatting with John Green, and I had to go to the bathroom, so I went to the bathroom, and THE BATHROOM WAS ENTIRELY MADE OF GLASS INCLUDING THE FLOOR -- so to get to the toilet and pee you had to be like *hovering over empty space and anyone could see you???? I absolutely was not OK AT ALL and I think I just had to like, LEAVE to go to a real place with a real bathroom.

I still remember the ones my boss told me about -- one at PRINCE'S HOUSE where PRINCE PERFORMED, and one at the Playboy Mansion! -- I was not invited to those! *cryface*

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

When I watch TV shows I'm mostly always involved in fandom and fandoms drive TV shows and ABC loves their couples and marketing them through the network for the tv show and fandom. Since the finale not a single damn person ships either of the new Buck or Eddie pairings and you don't think ABC has realized nobody cares about these two no chemistry pairings? They've taken notice just as much as they noticed the reaction to the finale especially the endings for buck and eddie was almost universally negative. I half think Oliver, Joauquin, and many others knew the finale would be received as negatively as it was although it probably shocked Oliver that it's now the lowest rated episode of the series(which he does take notice of those things) and he knows everyone hates his new pairing. I mean listen when Hallmark doesn't even cast you guys, that goes to show you have no chemistry. Hallmark casts anyone lol.

ABC loves there couples. Merder, Captain Swan, Chenford, Caskett, etc. Like they ride on these pairings. To put any of these two pairings even 100 yards away from these iconic ABC pairings is laughable at best.

I'm with you that I think Eddie and Marisol's break up will happen off screen probably post time skip but I think like with Eddie/Ana we will have to see Buck and Natalia's break up, which will probably connect to a Buck breakdown because he still has not faced his death on top of other things maybe him realizing him and Natalia want different things out of life.

I... I am not sure exactly what you're trying to say here, nonny. Are you... agreeing with me about how you think Buddie will go canon? Are you trying to dispute something else I said? I'm confused.

I agree with you in how ABC really promotes its pairings. I remember what they did for Caskett when Castle was airing, and I've seen how they promote Chenford, so I was instantly excited when I saw we're moving to that network. I think ABC is a network that knows a good thing when it sees one, and Buddie is a very good thing.

(Side note: Had to ask a friend what "Merder" is. Apparently it's from Grey's Anatomy.)

If you're trying to dispute what I said about chemistry, then I cannot begin to tell you how uninterested I am in this "debate." My tags were frustration that literally every time people ship A and B and then A has a romantic scene with C, people claim A and C "have no chemistry." It may or may not be true, but I've seen plenty of pairings that had great chemistry, or where I really liked the C character, but that didn't change the fact that they weren't meant to be together and that A and B were the ship that was endgame (Booth's season six girlfriend comes to mind as an example). So I find it a tired rallying cry and generally missing the point.

For example: as I've said in previous asks - hey did you guys know I have a tag called #mads answers things where you can see if I've already discussed the thing you want to put in my inbox? - 911 loves the "friends to lovers" trope. Two of their three couples had it, and it was the two we saw develop on-screen. If Buck and/or Eddie were going to get with a serious love interest besides each other, I think they would introduce that person as a friend first and spend time building the slow burn.

Anyway again not sure what you're trying to say here, but I agree that it's great we're moving to ABC. I'm very excited and hopeful for Buddie in regards to that move. I hope that others are as well, and if you're not, then you are more than welcome to that opinion, but you are not welcome in my inbox.

If you're trying to discuss with me things like production, networks, meta, speculation, etc, then I'm sorry but I'm genuinely not interested and I'm not sure how many times and ways I can say this. I don't know what goes on behind the scenes, full stop. Can't really pass go when you don't have a car. And again, I ain't interested in building a car out of tin foil.

[viciousbite]

MUN ABC’S

copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours. when you are done, tag up to ten people and also tag the person who tagged you.

A - AGE;; 29 (next year round number, oh no--) B - BIGGEST FEAR;;  Losing people that are close to me. C - CURRENT TIME;; 7:52pm D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD;;  Energy Drink E - EVERY DAY STARTS WITH;;   Turn on computer -> energy drink. F - FAVOURITE SONG;;  Don’t have a fav. G - GHOSTS ARE REAL - ? ;;  Maybe?? I - IN LOVE WITH;;  A pile of fictional characters. K - KILLED SOMEONE;; -hides the corpses- Yes, my muses. L - LAST TIME YOU CRIED;;  Last week or a few weeks ago? I cry easy. M - MIDDLE NAME;; Tuuli N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS;; 1 older sister. O - ONE WISH;; Currently -> to be braver. and to have more energy. P - PERSON LAST CALLED/TEXT;;  Sister. Q - QUESTIONS YOU ARE ALWAYS ASKED;;  used to be asked a lot irl why I don't talk much. Nowadays it's the usual 'what you been up to?' R - REASONS TO SMILE;;  Good friends. <3 S - SONG LAST SANG;;  Uhh, can’t remember. Maybe this cause watched the movie a few days ago. T - TIME YOU WOKE UP;;  Fully? 1pm U - UNDERWEAR COLOUR;;  Guess, pervert. V - VACATION DESTINATION;; Never left my country, nor thought about a proper vacation. My bed is best place. W - WORST HABIT;;  Talk too much online or too little, change subject out of nowhere, so many emotes, type lol/lmao even if I’m not laughing, too many energy drinks… Oh boy. X - X-RAY’S YOU’VE HAD;; Tummy??? Idk if it was one or not. Y - YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD;; …A lot of food. Z - ZODIAC SIGN;;  Aries

[draconicsplendor]

Since this is getting a fair bit of attention, I figured I’d expand on this. This will be long, so brace yourselves.

Explanation under the read more:

I have chronic joint pain in my legs and a rare kind of dwarfism. The two are linked, but don’t always happen together with my condition.

In Grade 1, my regular teacher was replaced by a long-term substitute.

I had a lot of trouble with reading and math, even though I love reading now. I would frequently zone out simply because I couldn’t make myself understand the concepts being explained to me. Instead of doing the work, I would write the ABC’s, over and over and over again.

And math was much the same.

I knew I couldn’t run or jump or play as well as everybody else, and the questions from my peers never stopped coming. Sometimes I would be limping from walking for only twenty minutes, but because I was quiet about it, nobody thought to let me sit out in gym class (where I was a constant target, by the way), or opt out of the Terry Fox Run.

And don’t get me started on none of the tables and chairs being the right size. My shoulders would sometimes cramp at the end of the day from all the strain.

Fast forward to when I was 15 or 16. My mom is telling me that my teacher never once mentioned me having troubles with math, even though that was the worst of it by far. He only ever mentioned the reading.

And I am furious. I’m sure if it was possible to fail first grade, I would have, never mind that in second grade I was suddenly reading way beyond my grade level. This teacher saw me struggling every single day with what would become my worst nightmare, and never properly communicated the issue to us.

In the rest of elementary school, math was a waking nightmare. I paid attention in class and did my best to take notes, even though the notes were always incomplete. I couldn’t absorb enough of the lessons to know what I should be taking notes on.

And by the time I got home and had practice work to do, I never remembered what I had been taught. It was in there, somewhere. It had to have been, because everybody told me I should know it, because I had just been doing it earlier that day. So my parents went through the same concepts with me for hours on end, and because I couldn’t cry, I would laugh instead. Laugh at how stupid I felt, and how angry my parents were at nothing they said being able to stick.

My parents lashed out at me for not understanding, too. I’m sure they felt like they were failing me somehow, or were just not teaching the concepts well enough.

Many years later, my dad accuses me of not paying attention in class, because he can’t see any other reason why I would be struggling so much.

I’m in middle school now, and I find a tumblr post describing the symptoms of dyscalculia. And I’m elated! Finally, I know why I am the way I am, and none of it is my fault.

I do have an IEP at this point. For my non-Canadian followers, an Individual Education Plan is a document outlining my academic strengths and weaknesses. Among those weaknesses are executive functioning, working memory, time blindness, et cetera.

I ask my mom about getting diagnosed, and she tells me that because I was never failing math, they refused to see that I was struggling at all.

My hours spent crying over things as simple as multiplication and telling time on an analog clock no longer counted. All the proof they needed that I was fine were my grades.

Nobody let me opt out of Phys Ed or the Terry Fox Run in middle school, either, and the elevator was always in disrepair. At some point I got a walker, and I was furious when somebody needed to carry it and all my books up the stairs for me, with me trailing, and hobbling, slowly behind.

I couldn’t express why I felt this way, though. I had gotten the message to simply persevere and push through the pain too many times to count, not to mention that people thought helping me was the same as having what I needed to do it myself. And boy, did I ever internalize those messages.

But somebody was failing me, and some part of me knew it.

I had gotten used to the strain on my shoulders. I still am.

In high school, I start to think the things in my IEP sound a lot like autism, or ADHD. Possibly both. I tell my mom, and she doesn’t believe me. Well, that’s fine.

Once, I had math and science in the same semester. This science teacher took one look at my accommodations and told me there was nothing she could do.

She told me I seemed too much like I knew what I was talking about to be struggling.

So I spent entire days on entire weekends catching up on worksheets. I ended up neglecting my other classes, but scraped through with good marks regardless. But all my other obligations, my family, friends, hobbies… my joy flew out the window.

The resource teachers sided with her. She told them there was nothing she could do, and they believed her, never mind that she was legally required to make it work somehow.

That summer, the night before the first day of school, I had a nightmare where I was pleading with my mom to stay home.

The next time I had a science class, the teacher did everything right. And I had my life back again.

Another small anecdote is that another teacher at my school, a French teacher, did all my accommodations wonderfully. She gave me a few extra minutes in between classes, a reduced workload, extended timelines, all of it.

But my dyslexic friend wasn’t so lucky.

That’s how I found out that the teacher had very obvious favourites. And I was one of them.

In grade 12, last year, my health took a nosedive. My hips had barely any cartilage, most doctors were refusing to operate, and I was stuck in bed. I couldn’t even roll over without hurting myself.

In order to keep up, I was only given the option of dropping a class.

One less class, while I was in agony, sleeping on a cot in the living room, because I couldn’t get upstairs to be in my own bed.

My parents agreed with this plan, and I can’t bring myself to be angry enough to hate them for it. Catching up for all that work would have been hell.

I’m in Grade 13 now. For the Americans in the notes, we can take an extra semester if we want to, and people with IEP’s can take an extra year.

My schedule is full, and most of my friends did Grade 13 too, so I’m not lonely.

My teachers know me well enough to know my accommodations by heart, because one of them has another role in Learning Resource, and the rest of them have known me since I was a minor niner. That’s freshman year, for the yankees.

I ask another resource teacher to explain to me, again, why I shouldn’t have another Psych Ed evaluation, so I can keep my accommodations in university. They can’t tell me anything except that things may have changed since middle school.

I don’t think I’ll get all the way through university without them, but those evaluations are too expensive for me to argue.

I’m in Grade 13 now, and I finally have a proper, adjustable desk for my height. And there’s only one of them, so I can only have it in one class.

My feet still dangle off of the floor.

To everyone who corrected me saying the school system was awful for everybody: go fuck yourselves. This one’s for the disabled kids.

This society needs to care more about how awful every school system is at supporting their disabled students

[imweirdblog]

End of another year

I don't feel good today. It is similar to what I have described before. I cannot pinpoint what is causing my mood to be off. I don't like this feeling. I don't wanna do anything I enjoy, the joy has been sucked out of video games, movies and even lettuce. I know to some extent I do enjoy all of that but it is just that right now I don't feel like doing anything, not even hanging around people. I wrote that as if I was super interested in doing that before, I wasn't.

Last time i wrote was almost a month ago, I remember being worried about placements. I am placed already which is kind of insane considering not all of us will be by the time the course ends. The pros and cons are both present, no placement stress is the primary one. And cons? well the pay isn't great.

I did consider starting the gym and have been going there fairly regularly. Sometimes I skip a day here and there but what really irks me is the guilt which I have whenever I miss a day. Why is this an issue? Do i feel like i'm being help upto a standard by people around me? Do i think the haters will win if i don't continue? This begs the question what is winning? Is it just money at the end of the day? A chiseled body? A beautiful girl? Or was it always about game development? I don't think any of those will give me any fulfillment. But the money thing I don't know how to work it out. Body I am working on. Girls? I don't know how to communicate with especially considering there is a vast demographic gap between the number of guys and girls around me. I'd say like 70:30. And everyone one of these girls are being approached by guys which makes everyone else my competition. And you can't be friends with your competition can you? Lets move on from this topic. Maybe I will start with development again if not game then of some other kind while I have time left.

Moving on to other things, firstly lets talk about the counseling session I had and how it ended on "trust issues". Also I think there is a conflict of interest between visiting a school counselor considering anyone wants as less work as possible, if you're making a fixed income. Generally how it works is that it is a pay per session so what ends up happening is, is the counselor wants you to keep visiting which would make any work impossible. Here there is theoretical possibility for work due to ABC taking me on without it aligning with her interest. Now here's where it gets interesting, it falls on me to chase and fix up the appointments and her 'job' is to avoid them to avoid the work. I'm not particularly interested in chasing around this bs, I think the best course of action is to report her to the college and try to get her fired but that would only satisfy my power hunger and not actually get me to benefit from therapy if it is possible anyway. Such a conflicting relationship could never result in any positive work.

Moving on to my scores for the semester. I am on a misunderstanding sprial with a professor and even with 80%+ attendance and saying something in most of the class for participation i managed to get one of the lowest scores i have seen around me and it is a great shame to me. It makes me uneasy and think about what the future looks like due to this. This can be one of the contributing factors to my mood.

Next we have the annoying always drunk and babbling roommate. I know he wants to start a fight and I know he will go crying to his parents and authorities if it happened. Don't think he will have a strong case considering the amount of evidence he leaves and kind of reputation he has. There is nothing for me to gain out of this so I don't think this will come to fruition.

A lot happened this year. But I am no closer to finding any long term answers to the way I am and my condition. I don't even think I ever will be. Love is such an alien concept to me now. Every interaction still seems transactional in nature.

I don't know why I feel. Perhaps this is still fine, i remember i used to have friends and girlfriend prospects. It was much more of a high low kinda thing compared to what i want. I want a slight high constantly but the problem with that is that when anything becomes the standard or norm, over a period of time it will seem less meaningful. It is fine. I will be the loner type for now. I don't think I am going to be shedding this image anytime soon because of the 20 other people who will be joining the new job with me. But hey that's months from now. Perhaps I will be a completely different person then.

[twolittledemons]

Sylvie: Pa showed us a “quote maker”–

Cecile: He said you can force people to say stuff–

Sylvie: Or something like that–

Cecile: So here’s some shit! Oh, and, sorry, there’s a lot–

——————————

Sylvie: ARE YOU-

George: Fucking.

Sylvie: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

George: Fucking.

Sylvie: IDIOT!

Laf: …What was that?

George: Cecile banned Sylvie from swearing, so I’m helping her out.

——————————

Laf: I'm cold.

George: Here, take my hoodie.

*meanwhile*

Sylvie: I'm cold.

Cecile: I can't control the weather, Sylvie.

——————————

*after George gets surgery and is loopy from the anesthesia*

Laf, gesturing to George: Sylvie, look what you did! You made Mom upset!

Cecile: Mom, please don’t cry, we’re sorry!

Sylvie: I’m sorry Mom... :(

George, near tears: I DON’T REMEMBER GIVING BIRTH TO ANY OF YOU!

——————————

Laf: Ducks are better than rabbits.

Sylvie: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks.

Cecile: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey.

Sylvie: We’re not talking about flavour, Cecile!

Cecile: Flavour counts!

Sylvie: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone?

George: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who’s cozier?

Sylvie: Okay, but-

George: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER?

Cecile: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out!

Sylvie: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, CECILE!

Cecile: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, SYLVIE!

Laf: I- Jesus-

——————————

Cecile, Sylvie & Laf: *screaming*

George: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Laf?!

Cecile: Wait, why are you asking Pa that when Sylvie and I are also here?

George: Because Pa wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

——————————

Sylvie: Pa, we're hungry!

Cecile: Pa! What's for dinner?

George: We're hungry, Laf!

Laf, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

——————————

*Everyone is playing a board game together*

Laf: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.

George: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.

Cecile: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.

Sylvie: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.

Cecile: *flips the board*

——————————

Laf: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?

Cecile: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

——————————

George, throwing a pokeball at Sylvie: Sylvie, I choose you!

Sylvie, not looking up from her book and catching it: You need an Ultra ball to catch this Legendary Pokémon.

——————————

George: Laf! I can't do this stupid math!

Laf: What’s the math problem?

George: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don’t multiply.

Cecile, covering Sylvie’s ears, while Laf smacks George upside the head: Not gonna lie that was hella smooth.

——————————

Cecile: My stomach growled super loud in French.

Cecile: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class.

Laf: Bonjour.

Sylvie: Le growl.

George: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

——————————

Laf: How late were you up last night?

Cecile & Sylvie, in tandem: Me?

Laf: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time.

Laf, to George: You.

——————————

Laf: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.

George: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: *silence*

Cecile: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!

Sylvie: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

——————————

Cecile: Good. Thanks, dad.

George: You just called Laf “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Cecile: What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Laf: Do you see me as a father figure, Cecile?

Cecile: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Sylvie: Hey! Show your father some respect!

——————————

George: *tapping fingers on table*

Laf: *taps fingers back furiously*

Cecile: …What’s going on?

Sylvie: Morse code. They’re talking.

George: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … -

Laf: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

[Translation: Yur The Cutest]

——————————

Cecile: LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS!

George: And here we have a capitalist.

Laf: Did you just-

Sylvie: Let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of human history, human language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible.

——————————

Laf: I give up. I am so tired.

Sylvie: Get the emergency supply!

George: *carries Cecile and places her in front of Laf*

Cecile: *smiles*

Laf: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

——————————

*The girls are learning CPR on a test dummy*

George: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?

Sylvie: No, Dad. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.

George: No, that’s not part of it—

Sylvie: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?

Cecile: I would want to live with no legs.

Sylvie: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Cecile. You don’t do anything.

George: All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him.

Sylvie: *pumps frantically*

George: Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.

Sylvie: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?

Laf: How’s that gonna help you?

Sylvie: I will divide and then count to it.

Laf: Right.

George: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?

Sylvie: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.

——————————

George: Why do you act like we’re three year olds?

Laf, exasperated: WHY?!?

Laf points at Cecile: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR!

Laf points at Sylvie: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK!

Laf points at George: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND!

Laf: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????

——————————

Cecile: *falls down the stairs*

Laf: Are you okay?

George: Stop falling down the stairs!

Sylvie: How’d the ground taste?

——————————

George: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.

Cecile: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to?

Sylvie: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit.

Laf: Girls.

——————————

Sylvie: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

George: Put spaghetti in it.

Sylvie: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.

Cecile: Put spaghetti in it.

Sylvie: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.

Laf: Put spaghetti in it.

Sylvie: I am no longer taking suggestions.

——————————

Laf: Are you laughing at that video of Cecile and Sylvie fighting?

George: No.

George: I'm laughing at the comments.

——————————

George: Today at 7 am, Laf poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing.

Sylvie: I watched Pa brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm.

Cecile: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

——————————

Laf: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

George: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Laf: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

George: But I heard a siren.

Cecile: That was Sylvie.

Sylvie: Sorry, I got nervous.

——————————

Sylvie: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.

Laf: Throw rocks at he.

George: Hot Dogs.

Cecile: Kill him.

Sylvie: Thanks guys.

——————————

George: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Sylvie, Laf, & Cecile: Okay.

George: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Laf: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Sylvie: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Cecile: Bold of you to assume I can die.

——————————

George: Yesterday, I watched Cecile try to eat a decorative rock from Sylvie's potted plant. Laf caught her, and told her she can't eat rocks. Cecile started whining something about no food being in the house before walking away.

——————————

Laf, watching Cecile and Sylvie fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?

George, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine. They’re too evenly matched to hurt each other.

Laf: Then... who’s the strongest out of you three?

Cecile: Dad.

Sylvie: Dad.

George: Me.

——————————

*Laf is in the kitchen and he hears a crash from the living room*

Laf, running into the living room: WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED HERE?!?!

Cecile, looking at the broken TV screen and the remote on the floor: I was trying to throw the remote onto the TV stand!

Laf: And Dad didn’t stop you?!

Cecile, pointing at a sleeping George: He’s been asleep for the past three hours.

Sylvie, walking in, oblivious to the situation: Hey guys-

Sylvie, realizing: Wait, is the TV broken? Why?!

Laf, pointing at Cecile: She threw the remote onto the TV stand.

Sylvie: Come on! That’s the 5th time this week and it’s 2 in the morning on a Tuesday!

George, waking up to see the situation: *yawns* How long was I out?

George, seeing the broken TV: OH GOD NOT AGAIN! CECILE, I TOLD YOU NOT TO!

Cecile: You were asleep! And I always take a window of opportunity when I see it!

Laf, George & Sylvie, in unison: But you broke the-

Cecile: My work here is done. If anyone asks, I was never. *dashes out of the living room*

——————————

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

George, with Cecile and Sylvie behind him: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!

Police: Yes…three.

George: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?

Police: Wha-

George: Laf FUCKING FELL OFF!

——————————

Laf: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.

Sylvie: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.

Cecile: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?

George: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

[legion1227]

Whose Line Is It Anyway? CW version: Review

Colin Mochire, Ryan Stiles, and Wayne Brady: An iconic trio.

From what I can recall, from a fragment of memory I harbor from a random day back in the mid-2010s, my first exposure to Whose Line Is It Anyway, and its hilarious cast stemmed from the genius duo of Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie. I don't remember the bit, but Ryan and Colin's chemistry and impressive improvisational skills made me cry with laughter. I was exposed to their comedic chops on a random day while scrolling through cable tv channels with family around ten or so years ago, which sent me down a rabbit hole. I watched dozens of clips from them on Youtube and have been a fan of the show for years.

Whose Line Is It Anyway originally started as a radio show on the BBC in 1998. That same year, it moved to British television and aired for years during the 90s before getting a US version of the show, which aired from 1998 to 2007. The show returned once more in 2013 and has been running on the CW channel consistently since then. Whose Line is a comedic skit show starring 4 comedians and 1 host who perform in front of a live crowd.

Essentially there have been three iterations of the show and the format across five decades. I gave the UK version of the show a chance long ago but couldn't gravitate toward it since their sense of humor differed from mine. The version of the show that aired from 1998 to 2007, which we will call the ABC version since it ran on ABC during this time, and the CW version are my favorites, and I will talk primarily about them. (Moreso the latter rather than the former).

The CW version of Whose Line is incredibly funny, but the show falls short compared to the ABC version.

The ABC version of Whose Line prominently featured host Drew Carey with Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles, Wayne Brady, and a fourth actor that varies with every episode. Every now and then, a surprise guest celebrity would join in on the fun and indulge in comedic showmanship. The games that Drew and the others participated in were a large variety. From Scenes from a Hat to Questions Only, to Three-Headed Broadway Star, to Whose Line, the dozens of games at their exposal attributed to the chaotic unpredictability the show brung.

One of my problems with the CW version is how formulaic it was for years. While the ABC version had guest stars sparingly, the CW version had almost every episode with a special guest. You could predict for the longest time what game they would start and the order. It begins with Let's Make A Date or Questions Only. Then the host would introduce the guest, and Wayne Brady would improvise a song that usually highlights the guest. Finally, they would bring the guest back one or two more times for games like Moving Parts and/or Helping Hands.

Repeat this process ad nausem, and it becomes a bit dull. Colin, Ryan, and Wayne haven't missed a bit as they've aged, but if you've seen one version of Helping Hands, then you've seen every version. Wayne Brady has fantastic range and an overall spectacular singing voice, but he's always singing the same kind of songs for every episode where unless the prompt the audience suggests is particularly batty, it's par for the course.

Thankfully, in the last few years, the episodes aired have strayed away from the special guests. Most surprise guests are not as funny or talented in this field as Colin or the others, taking away from the comedic genius the group provides.

To a lesser extent, my only other gripe with the show is perhaps the host, Aisha Tyler. Actually, it's not even a gripe. I like Aisha Tyler. Is she as funny as former host Drew Carey? Personally, I don't think so, but I enjoy her presence and how she bounces off of Wayne, Ryan, and the others easily.

Let's put it simply. ABC's Whose Line Is It Anyway is improv at its finest and warrants a watch if you didn't watch back then or see clips on Youtube or other social media. CW's Whose Line is slightly inferior only because the format of the show leaves multiple episodes feeling the same as they start and end with the same games and sometimes make the same or similar jokes. However, Colin, Ryan, and Wayne, when not forced to work with special guests, are at their best as their chemistry and quick thinking skills provide an uproariously hilarious time. If you like improv and their old bits, I encourage viewers to check out their revival on the CW before they finish the show once more.

ABC's version would be a 4/5 while CW's is a 3.5/5.

[lakesbian]

yaaaay thankyou so much for explaining. [said with the same cheerful instant recall as someone who really loves the ABCs reciting the ABCs] alec's had a year with the undersiders by the time the story starts. always really funny that the undersiders were a team for like. a pretty good ass chunk of time all things considered before taylor joined just being chill generic minor villains and then she takes them on a special journey through the most everything-altering week or two of their lives and then fucks off into the distance for two years. anyway.

i REALLY wish ward was good or that literally any of this was visible/an interesting Thing in the bit where aisha and brian are interacting that i read because ouuurgh the clockblocker bit is fun. my read of glastig uained alec then is:

obviously non-insignificant portion based on 10-13yo jean-paul, however,

shards value conflict simulation the most, and given how much of jean-paul's life experiences were one-sided torture, i'd estimate that there's still a very large chunk of the most valuable conflict data that was coming from alec during the period where taylor was getting him into all kind of Adventures (which is to say yeah probably about 30-40% jean-paul stirred in and the rest is more familiar Alec)

alec turns professional mode on when necessary for the undersiders but does not have a particularly distinct Capesona in the same way grue/brian are clearly divided or skitter/weaver/taylor are clearly divided--regent is a bit more professional than alec (and also very much about playing into a specific fantasy & role), but he's also largely just. alec with a sillier gayer outfit than usual on, begrudgingly willing to tone the jokes back 60% for the bank robbery. because alecs life prior to being regent sucked so bad that being regent is, like, actively extremely chill for him and actually a level of unmasking from being hijack. which is to say the focus on the cape identity wouldn't detract too much from the unmasked alec aisha would be familiar with

he nigh certainly leans a bit gayer and fancier now than he did when he was alive due to the higher influence from his Cape traits specifically. confetti noises. i've been spinning the idea of like...fabric designs ending up kind of imprinted on his skin in a way that leaves subtle lace/ruffle/etc designs like brian's skull. and maybe keep the crown as a weird metal-bone-flesh growth idfk. not doing the frozen face because i dont hate him. but also what if there was the frozen face. what then. :).

stirring jeanpaul into the pot actually makes this sooo much more interesting than if it were just Regular Alec but in the wrong place and time. sad on purpose in an interesting way instead of sad on accident in an uninteresting way. the interactions btwn him and aisha would be really really interesting because it'd be an even more intense version of how she metaphorically dedicates herself 2 ensuring the sad little boy she remembers is cared for (and given plenty of opportunity to piss people off, like he would've wanted). sitting on the floor in my puddle of cry...she made dolls of him :( "if theres a single scratch ill be pissed" .....augh. i think alec is already babyfaced enough that he would look slightly imperceptibly uncannily younger than he was when he died. easy to mistake as regular alec most of the time but then you toss him in the same room as his siblings and they steal his fries or whatever and he enters jean-paul "cast spell of coldly silently clong you over the head with lamp" mode. i think he deserves to sit around making annoying commentary at all of the undersiders and also get a hug

How do you think Alec would have handled getting the Valkyrie treatment? Being made into a puppet in the same way that he did to other people, his sacrificial suicide being subverted by another cape who uses people as tools but in a much more complete and permanent sense, coming back wrong and having his cape identity irrevocably a part of his body and self, and no longer being able to take off the mask, is this anything?

see i've rotated this extensively in my mind before because i think coming up with how a cape's design would turn out if they got glastig uained is a really fun exercise (do that shit to lisa for some Fun eyeball body horror!!) but i'm struggling to come up with what would happen to alec :( the most obvious answer is the crown becoming like. Attached. to his head. but id ont know if that's too far out there. there's also the concept of having his face frozen in a permanent smirking expression but i feel like that would go Too tragically counter to the point of a 'surprise hes back again' au wherein he would be expected to. yknow. realize and experience some of his feelings again at some point. so yeah i'd need someone else to help me figure that one out.

anyway the actual experience of being glastig uained. if i recall correctly in ward brian says it was basically just like waking up feeling like everything from before he died was just a few days ago not Years ago so i don't think alec would care that much that someone was using his ghost or whatever for shit while he was dead, relative 2 all the other problems in his life. wouldnt even notice with the type of shit hes got going on. the big reason why this au doesn't really work is that it's just Wildly Unproductively Depressing. it seems like ciara only starts bringing random people back by the time aisha is like. what. 20?

it works Fine and Actually Thematically Interesting Well that brian is like oh FUCK youve GROWN UP when he gets back because it's relevant 2 their sibling dynamics. but it does. it does not work if alec gets back and aisha is like 20. it's just depressing. from alec's PoV it would be "congrats you've been brought back into a world where your best and only friend is too old and character-developmented for you to actually have a close connection with even though for you it feels like she was still your age only a few days ago and also your fucking shit ass siblings are here too and btw the world ended so all of the nice luxuries you were enjoying previously are not options anymore. go feed the earth gimel sheep boy." and from aisha's perspective her best friend would be back but in a monkeys paw way where he did not get to grow up with her and he's still little and sad and fucked up and more like one of his siblings that she's caring for/trying to help vs the equal best friendship she Wants but Can't Have because he is Fifteen. so now everything sucks and is sad for everyone involved. :(.

i would say "on the 'up'side this is a hot new contender for scenarios wherein lisa could feasibly decide alec is her new sopping wet fixer-upper" but she already has an even more absurd and unstable option (that one cop) so as usual alec remains background. btw he would be offended on taylors behalf that lisa had replaced taylor with victoria (who he does not like because shes annoying) and entirely oblivious that taylor had ever thought or said anything about him being sucks and utterly lacking in interiority. AUs that have potential to be funny wrt alec's interactions with the other undersiders but are wildly fucking depressing when you get to his interactions with aisha.

if we fudge a bit and say ciara brings him back like riiight after gold morning aisha would only be a bit over a year older than him so that's more doable in terms of character development and eventual reconnection but it'd still be a mess. i'm not articulating my explanation of how aisha's character development works rn and i don't feel like saying something wrong so i'll just leave it here but trust me it'd still be a mess. maybe an interesting one but a mess

[alyswritings]

can you do a toodler!sister! reader x tom holland where she’s at daycare and he goes to pick her up and she comes back with some flowers and a cute little gift because her ‘boyfriend’ got it for her and Nikki thinks it’s so cute while the brothers are going into overprotective mode and freaking out.

Tom waits by the door, watching Y/N gather her stuff, grabbing a few flowers that were probably picked from a garden, and talk to her teacher. Y/N points to Tom and the teacher looks over at him. Tom politely smiles and waves and the teacher allows Y/N to race to her oldest brother.

Tom smiles and squats, holding his arms out, Y/N soon crashing into him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Hi, love." Tom greets, hugging her back.

"Hi, Tommy." Y/N smiles, pulling out of the hug.

"You ready to go?" Tom asks and Y/N nods. Y/N turns and waves to her friends and Tom watches a young boy and young girl wave back.

Tom grabs Y/N's hand, leading her out, starting the walk home.

"You have fun today?" Tom asks.

"Uh-huh. We had crackers and Oreos and juice." Y/N lists. "And we worked on ABCs."

"Oh, yeah? That sounds fun." Tom says.

"Yep." Y/N nods.

"Where'd the flowers come from?" Tom asks. "You pick those while you were playing?"

"No, Peter gave me to them." Y/N says.

"Who's Peter?" Tom asks.

"My boyfiend." Y/N says and Tom freezes in his tracks. Since he's holding her hand, she also stops walking, looking up at him confused.

"Your boyfriend?" Tom asks.

"Uh-huh. He gave me this, too." Y/N says, holding up her free hand to show off a plastic bracelet resting around her wrist.

"He gave you jewelry?" Tom asks, inspecting the jewelry.

"Mm-hmm." Y/N nods, grinning.

"Y/N, you're much too young for boyfriends." Tom says.

"Nuh-uh. Mummy likes it. She lets him come over and play." Y/N says. "And I get to go to his home, too."

"What? No, no, no. We had planned no boyfriends until you're my age." Tom says.

"That's too long." Y/N stomps her foot.

"We'll discuss this later, young lady." Tom says, resuming the walk home.

"You would like him. His name is Peter. Like Spider-Man." Y/N says.

"Yeah, and he also shares a name with Peter Pettigrew. That little rat." Tom quietly grumbles.

- - -

Once they get home, Y/N quickly greets the rest of her family before going to play with Tessa in the backyard.

"Did you know Y/N has a boyfriend?" Tom asks.

"What?!" His brothers shriek.

"Oh, you mean Peter?" Nikki asks.

"You know she has a boyfriend?" Harry asks.

"Oh, it's the cutest thing. They'll share their snacks with each other and kiss the other's cheeks. He'll even open stuff for her. And sometimes we'll buy little gifts they can get each other." Nikki says, smiling softly.

"When did this become a thing?" Paddy asks.

"A few months ago." Nikki answers, shrugging as if it's not a big deal.

"And you didn't think to tell us?" Sam asks.

"We need to interrogate him. We need to make sure he treats her right and his intentions are good. He breaks her heart, we're going to war." Tom declares, watching Y/N and Tessa play in the yard.

"Boys, they're only four years old. What's the worst that could be done?" Nikki laughs.

"She could come home crying some day because he finds another four year old cuter." Tom retorts.

"Or he could get attracted to a five year old. If you're older, it's almost always an automatic win." Sam grumbles, remembering how his kindergarten girlfriend dumped him for a first grader.

"Sam, history doesn't always repeat itself." Nikki says, knowing what he's thinking about. "And how do you four plan to interrogate a four year old?"

"Kids are smart. He'll know how to answer." Harry says and Nikki rolls her eyes.

"What do plan to ask him?" She asks.

"His intentions. His GPA. His plans for the future. Does he smoke? Does he drink? Any past problems." Paddy lists.

"Four year olds don't have GPAs. He probably doesn't know the definition of "intentions." His plans for the future is to follow in the steps of Willy Wonka. The only somewhat unhealthy thing he drinks is juice. Of course he doesn't smoke and past problems are probably just spilling food or something."

"The plan for the future is completely unrealistic." Harry says. "She needs somebody who has a realistic future plan."

"Unrealistic, huh? What, less unrealistic than Y/N's plan to step into a wardrobe and find Narnia?" Nikki questions.

"Well, that's different. She's adorable and has done no wrong. She deserves Narnia." Tom says, the other three nodding in agreement.

"Okay, well, Peter's coming over later." Nikki informs.

"Are you joking?" Sam asks.

"What?" Tom asks.

"You've got to be kidding." Harry grumbles.

"Bloody hell." Paddy whispers.

"Yes, and you will be nice. So help me if you four traumatize that boy, you're all grounded until Christmas." Nikki threatens.

"I'm 23." Tom says.

"Grounded." Nikki warns.

- - -

Later Peter and his mother get to the Holland house, Peter immediately rushing to the living room where Y/N is coloring at the coffee table. The brothers are all sitting on the couch, watching the first Narnia movie that Y/N requested to put on.

"Want to see four overprotective brothers in action?" Nikki quietly asks Peter's mother.

"Overprotective over a daycare relationship? Yes, I need the comedy." Peter's mother says, the two women sharing a small laugh, following the young boy into the living room.

"Hi, Y/N." Peter greets, a shy smile on his face.

"Hi, Peter." Y/N grins.

Peter sits next to her and she kisses him on the cheek. Tom goes to move, but Nikki slaps the back of his head.

"These are my brothers." Y/N tells the boy. "That's Sammy and Paddy and Tommy and Harry." She introduces, pointing to each brother as she says their name.

"Hi." Peter waves to them all, the older three brothers forcing smiles back, but Paddy keeps his protective glare on.

"Tommy's Spider-Man." Y/N says, a proud grin on her face.

"Cool!" Peter exclaims, also grinning.

- - -

The two toddlers are in the kitchen, eating sandwiches, the four brothers forced by Nikki to stay in the living room. Nikki and Peter's mother are in the backyard, enjoying kid free time.

"Tommy's Spidey, Sammy cooks really good food like my mommy does, Harry takes pretty pictures, and Paddy wants to play dress up like Tommy does. Or whatever they call it. But they all play my games whenever I ask."

The four listen to the conversation between the young couple.

"Okay, we'll have to question him later when mum isn't around. Maybe one day the four of us can pick her up from daycare and question him there." Paddy says.

"Yes. And even if she seems happy now, he breaks her heart..." Harry says.

"War." The four declare in unison.

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

Best Raph Angst 2018 and IDW

This was meant to be an answer for @casperheav, but I think I broke Tumblr’s post or something because I found so many good fics (this is the most thorough I’e ever been for one of these). So now it’s a collection of posts that will be gathered in a master list. Tcest stories are not included, per request, although I have found some good angsty ones.

IDW

One shots

The First Moments You've Ever Known by vacant houses - A turtle who doesn’t know himself wakes up in a city that doesn’t know him (tw pain and possible body horror)

Don't Cry, Little Brother by No Guns Only Roses - Big Brother always takes care of Little Brother, no matter where or who they are (tw for character death)

“Match in the gas tank, oh that's wretched” from Red-Light District by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters- Bishop has more tests to run on a captured Raph (tw graphic rape and medical torture)

“Now We're Heartless” from Midnight Whispers by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph gives in to his dark side (tw torture)

“Bloody Kisses And Fierce Hearts (Red)” from Covered In The Colors, Pulled Apart At The Seams by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph does what he must to protect the one he loves (tw past violence, abuse, death, and underage prostitution)

Dream A Little Dream Of Me by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph and Alopex try to keep each other together (tw violence, gore, medical torture, trauma, mentions of rape and suicide, sexual content)

Bad Things by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph remembers one nightmare as he endures another (tw underage rape, medical torture, trauma, suicidal thoughts, experimentation, dehumanization, hunger, poverty)

“Question” from ABC TMNT by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Splinter has a question for Raph, but he might not like the answer (tw gore, death, and past rape and abuse)

“Mirror” from ABC TMNT II: Out Of The Ooze by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph is feeling out of place, but luckily he has people to help him adjust to his new home (tw past homelessness and fears of abuse)

“Prey” from ABC TMNT II: Out Of The Ooze by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph tries to help a lost love (tw violence, dubcon, and graphic smut)

“Eulogy” from TMNT ABC IV: Turtles Forever And Ever And Ever by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph’s friends and boyfriend help him confront an old pain (tw grief and past violence and homelessness)

Chapter Fics

Son of the Foot Clan by Dementadoom - It’s a dark new reality indeed when a freshly mutated Raph gets taken in by the Foot Clan (tw violence, gore, abuse, manipulation, death, and imprisonment)

Fallen Angel by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters -AU where Raph is captured by the Purple Dragons and dragged into Casey Jones’ life (tw racism, violence, dehumanization, torture, bigotry, fears of rape, and abuse)

Rottmnt

One Shots

deoxyribonucleic acid don’t mean shit by guide_to_the_galaxy for tiramasu-art - Raph’s family helps him deal with his turbulent mind (tw for mental health issues) And I feel just like the only one by soda_coded (orphan_account) - A turtle tots story with 2012 elements. Raph’s journey towards becoming leader (tw injuries and discussions of violence)

Enough by jelliclekitten - Raph struggles to protect his brothers from someone who is meant to look out for them (tw child abuse)

“Chapter 4” from if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones by sonicthehedgehoglover2 - Raph has failed to protect his family, and now he needs his father’s help. “Bishop AU pt.1” if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones by sonicthehedgehoglover2 - Raph is asked to make a terrifying choice (tw imprisonment)

Chapter Fics

The Rise and the Fall series by KatlynneLyons - Raph cares for his siblings until they suddenly don’t need him anymore, and then things start to crumble (tw child neglect, depression).

(fic was removed after the author politely told me to go fuck myself because they didn’t like my ships)